benimar owners' club MAGAZINE  Issue No. 16 November 2004

benimar owners' club

 

founded April 28th 2001 Hon-President

Steve Reynolds

In this issue:-  EDITORS COLUMN   LETTERS TO THE EDITOR   WATER TESTING    BACK COVER STORY  YORK SHOW RALLY REPORT  WPC 2004  MEMBERSHIP  A MARSHAL'S STORY CHAIRMAN'S CHAT  OWN A MOTORHOME? - PUT IT TO WORK  ROY'S RAMBLINGS   March Rally in Bath

EDITORS COLUMN 

Well what an awful month August was. At least it gave me an excuse for doing the numerous little jobs around the new house to make it how we like it. 
Luckily the weather in September started brilliantly, and this was an ideal opportunity to widen the gates to the area where we keep Violet (our Benimar). Cutting through the original oak post at ground level was challenging but the rest of the job has gone OK and we now have a gateway 25 inches wider than before - big enough for an American RV (now there's a thought ! ).

Does the number 09018900501 mean anything to you? Well it should; if more of you had dialed it Merlin would be Pet Idol of the Year, instead of runner up (see page 8).

Judy and I got back to motorhoming again with a visit to the rally at the York Show. The show seemed very busy and unusually for us we spent quite a time there looking at new 'vans, but couldn't find quite what we were after.

The rally was well supported again and we gained a couple of new members. Alan & Pat Morgan who had booked with the MCC and were sited over a smelly manhole and when they asked to be moved were told stay there or move off - so they did - to us.
The others, George & Diana Szkoola, had booked with the Caravan & Camping Club and were told they were full when they arrived, so they moved across to us. I hope we see them both again on future rallies.
Paul & Carol marshaled York and turned up in a caravan with a Benimar sign in the window. No, they haven't changed outfits, they did an exchange with a couple in Canada and their 'van was currently being used by the Canadians.

Membership Reminder

I know it is a bit early in the year, but don't forget that you can renew your membership from the end of September (that's now) and, to avoid paying a £2 joining fee, you must renew by the end of December. 

So for you long term over - winterers who may be setting off for the sun early - 
Renew before you go. 

Use the enclosed Renewal Form

RonSmith

The next issue is due out at the end of the year, so input to me by 20th of December at the latest please.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Letter from Dolores

Honor & Tim Hewitt 

Thanks to everyone who helped at the Lincoln BBQ. Mary and George were excellent marshals, with the help of Helen and Roger.
Since the show we have had a great improvement to our 'van. We have had it chipped, no not a stone coming up and damaging the paint work, but put into the engine. Our 'van now gives a far better performance, especially up hill. Brake Horse Power is now 158, up from 127 and makes the 'van less juicy. It does not affect the insurance or warranty, but we can now go up hill in 4th gear.  (Honor and Tim have a 27 foot long twin axle Burstner - Ed)
It is great and the best £590 Tim has spent, and he has bought some rubbish for various 'vans on the past. The company is in Dover and says that any one wishing this work done when going abroad they will fit in with your plans. They are called Scotts Mototune (ask for Steve) . Their phone number is 01304 219487.
Also after Lincoln we went onto Lakeside campsite for £6 a night - it was great. Alan & Jo, Graham & Chris were also there. We have just spent a very wet week in Devon and Dorset with, I think, the whole of England's children - never again ! Wrong move , so roll on our return to sunny Spain where we hope some of you will visit us. Anne & Ken Mitchell, Angie & Mike Waterfield and John & June Harris are all within an easy drive of us. Our phone number is 0034 670 37 67 98

Letter from American friends

Mike & Libby Hixson

11/8/04 Hej from Sweden! Hello to all you wonderful lunatics. Remember the extremely attractive and oh so thin American couple from the Lincoln Outdoor Music and Leisure Show in July? Well, here we are again. 
Our "Red Arrow" send off on Monday morning in in Lincoln was spectacular. Thanks you Mary! The weather began to clear then and believe it or not it's been fantastic ever since. Bright sun and the bluest skies possible every day. 
We managed to get our bumper straightened at BCS in Herne Bay at no charge - thank you Kenny! Then, we spent a few days in Kent with friends getting Pet Passports for our cats before crossing over on the 74th of July on Sea France. We crossed at 8am and the ferry was only about 25% full. From Calais, we immediately headed northeast. Our first goal was Scandinavia via Belgium, Netherlands and northern Germany. We arrived in Bruges, Belgium at about noon and settled in at the campground. To be sure, it is a pretty run down place, but was only 2 km from the town centre. Bruges was just as beautiful as we remembered and full of tourists - just like us. 
Next stop was Brussels. We stayed at a Belgium Camping Club site near (very near) the airport. We thought a plane might land on us a few times. The bus stop was a 15 minute walk through a lovely neighbourhood. It took us to the metro station and we zoomed into the city. This was our first ever visit to Brussels and we enjoyed it very much. Beautiful city center. One could sit for hours sipping Belgian beer at one of the outdoor cafes on the main square, gaze at the beautiful buildings and people watch. We managed to squeeze in a couple of museums and the royal palace, too. 
On to Amsterdam. After a few wrong turns and a drive through an office park near Schiphol airport, we found our campground, Amsterdamsee Bos. It was situated on a small island in a huge park. It was very easy for us to take the bus into Amsterdam. We took a canal boat tour and strolled along the canals. And, of course, sampled the beer. We even took the train to Haarlem one day and visited the excellent Frans Hals museum. It gave a fascinating history of the city (in Dutch and English). 
From Amsterdam to Denmark was a long haul so we stopped in Bremen, Germany for a couple of nights and stayed at their municipal camp ground which was a short walk plus tram ride from city centre and easy to find off the motorway. We explored the old town and had lunch at the Ratskepper. 
Our first stop in Scandinavia was Odense, Denmark. Our first evening we took a lovely 4 km walk along the river from the campground into town. We discovered that Odense shuts down very early! Next day, we returned to town and visited the Hans Christian Andersen Birthplace museum. We both thought it was one of the most fascinating and well-done museums we'd ever experience! Don't miss it if you're in Denmark. 
Copenhagen is much like any big capital city. It has a few good museums and lots of tall, attractive, blue-eyed blondes - both male and female. Since we arrived in Denmark, we're really feeling the effects of a weak U.S. dollar. Diesel is as expensive as in England! Camping and food are, too. We're doing a lot of cooking. 
We took the new toll bridge from mainland Denmark to the island where Copenhagen is and the one from Copenhagen to Malmo, Sweden. Not cheap, but a lot more convenient than a ferry. 
We arrived in Sweden just south of Malmo and found that our campground is in a huge park on the ocean with nice swimming and great view of the bridge. Malmo is a nice, clean city and there's very little noise pollution since everyone rides a bike. The city centre is pedestrianised, too. We had planned on staying one night, but the location and the sunshine were irresistible. 
Next, we drove across the southern tip of Sweden and up the coast to Kalmar. It's a lovely town with a renaissance castle and once again lots of beaches and a nice walk along the water to town +- only 3 km. The scenery in southern Sweden is exactly like that of our home state of Minnesota. No wonder that's were so many Swedish and Norwegian immigrants chose to settler in the great migration at the end of the 19th century. We leave for Stockholm tomorrow. Then ,we plan to head for Norway. 
We've only seen one other Benimar (from Spain) quite old, but we're always on the lookout, hoping to see some of you. 
Maybe we can keep in touch with you every month or so and let you know how our "big adventure" is going. We'd love to hear from you - our email address is lmhixson@msn.com. Maybe we'll see you in Spain this winter! Take care. 

Water testing

Anne & Ian Robb 

We took our new Benimar (a Top STC) up to Killin in Perthshire recently to test it out before we traversed abroad with it for the winter and yes, you've guessed it, we were exposed to the flash flooding that has caused so much damage throughout the country recently. We managed to escape the landslide that occurred at Lochearnhead by a few miles but the 'van was marooned and part of the campsite had to be evacuated (see photo). We are pleased to say that our 'van stood the test admirably and was found to be completely watertight.
We are busy packing the 'van for our winter migration south, with Ian at the route planning stage, although we have quite a few stops to make on the way down visiting various "snowbirds" and like minded migrants.
Hope this finds you and your family well and not too stressed out post house moving. We hope to catch up with yourselves and other members next year as we may be confined to these shores due to our offspring's forthcoming nuptials!


Two Years with an Aereo 6000 CDL
John Pearson
One of the attractions of buying a Benimar was the complete package with every modern convenience (especially the 135 litre fridge/freezer), so looking back on our first two years it seems surprising but we still keep adding those little extras:
Safety
1. A fresnel lens for the rear window ensures good through vision even in rain.
2. Deadlocks for the cab, an essential precaution.
3. Tyron Bands fitted to the wheels give run flat capability in case of blow-outs.
4. Roof Reg numbers on the roof in case of theft.
5. Narcotic gas detector from CAK Tanks fitted by RDH.
Comfort
6. The banqueting table was just too big to live with. A smaller top in cherry just fitted on the sliding trolley over the fixed pillar, giving us room to breathe.
7. Reading lamps beneath the over-bed lockers.
8. An extra 850 w solar panel for wild camping in winter, much cheaper from Aljezur, Algarve. 
9. A step between the bed and shower room.
10. An Eberspacher diesel heater fitted under 9 to reduce dependence on gas when wild camping. (These 2 were copied from John Mackintosh of Inverness who has the same model Benimar).
11. A camping sat package (from Lidl) for TV news when abroad.
12. A more robust mattress.
Whatever next? Time to think about replating perhaps! 
What are your favourite extras?

SHEPTON MALLET SHOW MEET REPORT

Michael & Dawn Bottle 

Thursday 9th September 2004. We arrived at the show entrance on a warm sunny day after our longish drive from Kent via the dreaded M25 and its jam packed intersections, giving rise to long build-ups of traffic queues.
However, here we were and guess what? We were unable to go to the allocated area for the Benimar Group because the exhibitors of the previous show had not yet cleared the site of their equipment, (or rubbish). We were told that one other couple had already arrived but they were unsure as to where they were parked. Not knowing when the allocated area would be clear we toured around and ended up at the Laika area where we were made most welcome and shown a parking place on level mown grass. 
After settling in I took a stroll and located Brian & Mavis who were marshals for this event, they said that the previous exhibitors seemed to be in no rush to clear the area but would let us know when it was cleared for the Benimar group's use. This Brian did later and so we moved to join Brian & Mavis and also Mike & Angie (Mirage owners). The area although vacated still had rubbish scattered around the grass.
Later through the weekend we were joined by several other members, 6 vans in total. Brian had erected his awning and on Saturday evening Mavis and Brian invited us all to a social get-together and supplied us with copious amounts of wine. This gave everyone the chance to talk about this and that, but one thing that came out was the unusual poor turnout by RDH, with regards to the models on show which were mostly used vehicles, there were none of the Persio models to be seen, which I would have thought would be a good seller here.
The show itself was the usual Shepton Mallet, lots of vans of which several were new models quite a lot of accessories and other things that make living in the van easier or just better.
There were this year even more types of navigation aids for sale by different companies, also more of the TFT type televisions were to be seen.
We didn't venture out for the fireworks as rain came down on and off, as it did all weekend, so cannot say what they were like.
Monday morning soon arrived and we had to leave for home as did others, 
Thanks to Mavis and Brian for organising the weekend

(ps the sun shone all the way back to Kent)

BACK COVER STORY

At last we have a celebrity in the club.

The picture is Merlin, the very talented African Grey parrot, belonging to our Treasurer, Pip Rowe. 
Recently he was runner up in the Pet Idol Competition on GMTV, beaten into first place by some mongrel or other - obviously the voting was rigged.
Merlin has won all sorts of awards and will be appearing soon as guest performer at the Festival of Birds near Brighton. 
Then it is the big one - the National Cage and Aviary Birds Exhibition in December, where Merlin will be trying to retain his Championship title, making it 5 years in a row !!! 

When they are in their Benimar (the Pollyvan - what else?) Merlin is housed in a purpose built Aviary in the overcab area while poor old Vic has to make do with a bunk in the back.

YORK SHOW RALLY REPORT 

Ray Beach

September 17th to 20th 2004
Carol and I arrived around 1630hrs on Thursday and after queuing for twenty minutes or so we were directed to the Benimar site. We were greeted by Paul who showed us where to park the van.
I must point out that Paul had made an excellent job in placing the directional signage and pegging out of the site for the Benimar Club. 
In the evening there was a welcoming gathering. 
There were eighteen Benimar's and five guests.
The weather over the main three days was a mixture of sunny periods blustery showers and strong winds giving the feeling that winter was on its way. However we were lucky that it remained dry through most of the daylight hours.
Thursday & Friday evenings the entertainment consisted of Country & Western and music throughout the years from the forties to the nineties. On Saturday evening the cabaret main feature was Hale & Pace with a supporting act, a Frank Sinatra sound alike.
The main exhibition was the usual array of stands showing off their latest models of Motor homes and other stands with the latest hi and low Tec gadgets to use in your vans.
Carol & I made two visits to the Benimar stand, first was on Friday when we bumped in to Rod. We could see that he was busy with a client but we were able to arrange our van to be booked to have some work done on it.
The second visit was on Sunday afternoon, this time we spoke to Steve Reynolds. He said that business had been very good. We were both impressed with the motor home that was made for the mobility impaired. The van was fitted with MIP lift at the rear, special shower unit and fittings in the floor to secure a wheelchair with the person still in it. Steve said that he had sold one unit. 
There was a great stir amongst our gathering as two new motor homes arrived on to the Benimar site. First were Chris & Richard when they arrived with their new Compass. Richard reported that they had only had the van five hours and later went on to explain their reasons for not staying with Benimar.
Next, was Saturday evening when Frances & Colin took delivery of their new Lunar Roadstar. Frances reported that it had been a very hectic 24hrs with numerous phone calls to ensure that their van was going to be delivered on time as arranged. As with Richard, Colin later explained the reasons for not staying with Benimar.
Both vans received lots of attention from the remaining Benimar owners and some I feel sure were left pondering over their next motor home.
However I would like to take this opportunity from the rest of us to wish both couples well and happy motoring in their vans and congratulations.
Sunday saw the coffee morning which kicked off around 1100hrs and was hosted by Carol & Paul. 
Ron opened the meeting by thanking everyone for turning up and welcomed the latest Benimar owners to the club. Also made welcome were Margaret & Peter who came as guests of Frances & Colin. 
During the meeting Colin mentioned that he and Frances in a week's time were off to Bath or Barth depending on which area of the country you come from. As they have been many times before to this particular site, they felt that it's a good place to hold a rally and are hoping to organise a rally in the spring of next year DTBA.
Paul read out the answers to the trivia quiz which was eventually won by Barbara & Mel, who scored a maximum of 20 out 20. Well done you two.
By now it was almost dinner time and members started to drift away as some were getting ready to move off. Others wanted get round the exhibition.
The remainder of the day various members left the site, as the weather had turned much colder and the wind had started to pick speed.
As for Carol & me, after saying our goodbyes left around 1800hrs for our home in Bishop Auckland.
(Photos in centre spread by Ray Beach and Ron Smith)
According to Warners the 10th Anniversary Northern Motorcaravan Show at York was a great success.
There were over 4,000 units camped on site for the weekend plus 11,700 day visitors over the three days.
The exhibition area was packed with more than 200 traders.
To celebrate their 10th Show, Warners gave each rallying Club a big tin of chocolates. I am told that they were nice.

WPC 2004 

Worst Postcard Competition

The idea is to find the "worst" post card, and send it to me. At the end of the year I will judge them and the "worst" will receive a prize at the AGM weekend.
So far I have received 13 entries - what are the rest of you doing with yourselves on holiday?

The ones so far are:-
1 Viva Espana - Nichol & Lorna Thomson
2 Roquetas de Mar - Sheila & Terry Sweet
3 Wien bei Nacht - Richard Hall & Christine Anderson
4 Trois Graces- George & The Dragon
5 Dover by Night - Jean & John Porter
6 PC8152 - Ian & Sylvia Tilley
7 Brother David - Pat & Alan Harvie
8 Tess of the Dormobiles - Nichol & Lorna Thomson 

9 Sobre el Tejado - Ian & Anne Robb
10 Fachada Rustica - Ian & Anne Robb
11 Mechamment Meilleur - Ken & Ann Mitchell 
12 A greek man with a very big ........
- Janet Lawson
13 5 deckchairs - Vi Jennings 

Ron Smith

MEMBERSHIP 

NEW MEMBERS 

The RDH 20/20 promotion has resulted in 20 purchasers of Benimars being given free membership and these are now coming in. Some of the winners are already members so you will not need to pay on renewal.

A warm welcome to the following new members :-

Alan & Pat Morgan of Rhyl
George & Diana Szkoola of ?????

I have not received an update of new members from Jane. I am sure there are more so will have to wait till the next issue

Membership Renewal

You will find a renewal form included with this issue of the magazine. 
Please complete and return it without delay. Don't leave it and then forget it - you know it makes sense.
Jane Perry

CLUB STICKERS Vinyl stickers of the club logo suitable for adorning the front and rear of your Benimar. They are 230mm x 170mm (9" x 7" in old money) and are priced at £1 each plus 40p postage and packing per order - from Ron Smith (cheques made payable to Benimar Owners Club).

A MARSHAL'S STORY 

George & the Dragon marshal Lincoln

We volunteered to marshal the Lincoln 2004 Show rally in response to the "volunteers required" request in the Club magazine.
We were in La Manga, Spain, at the time. Possibly a combination of sun, sangria and relaxed living prompted a call to Roy Gill to offer our services. Roger and Helen Foster were also at La Manga, so we railroaded them into being our assistants.
As July approached we panicked. What had we let ourselves in for. I know all that is required is to peg out (not literally) the allocated area, then greet and site the vans as they arrive - job done.
The list from Warners duly arrived informing us there were 34 'vans plus ourselves.! Help !!
We arrived at the Showground on a grey and windy Wednesday morning. After circling the area indicated on the map for Benimar 3 times with no luck, we checked with an official to learn that we had been moved to a larger plot because there were so many of us. Prime position next to the show entrance, toilets and showers behind us, music show entrance a few minutes walk away, and this huge expanse of grass waiting to be pegged out. We had lunch and looked at it. "Do the rows go this way or that?" Another cup of tea and we will get started.
Exhibitors pitched on the other side of the road had free afternoon entertainment - numerous "domestics", nearly a divorce, but we finally got there, 50 places.
During the night we got to thinking that maybe we had too many places and not enough room between the rows for the 'vans to come through. When in doubt, do something about it, so Thursday morning saw us re-pegging with less arguments and less places - some 40 pitches and feeling happier about it. 
Although the gate were not to open until 2:00pm the first 'van arrived just after 12:30 then they rolled in. The 2 gazebos were up before the rain came, providing shelter for folk to meet and chat. By Friday we had added 2 more gazebos, put up our "Penny Lane" sign at the end of the row and "Cavern" sign over the gazebo - an attempt at a Beatles theme as the star act on the concert were the "Bootleg Beatles".
Getting carried away with organising we had Roger and Helen sorting out a competition, Honor and Tim in charge of the BBQ and Anne and Helen home baked cakes - a big thank you to all of them.
As each 'van arrived we gave them an itinerary, a competition sheet and a raffle ticket. The itinerary was of planned get-togethers, mainly eating and drinking.
The raffle ticket was for the Grand Prize Draw, where, I think that every couple went back to their 'van with some useless piece of rubbish - but it was fun - that's what rallies are about. 
Roger gave the answers to the competition at the Sunday coffee morning before a lot of 'vans had to leave. On Monday the remaining folks helped take down the gazebos in between packing away their own things, when a lone Red Arrow flew over, tipped his wings, then did smoke circles before joining the rest of the team on the sky line. Whether it was in response to my letter I'd written to them asking them to give us a twirl when they were returning from Fairford Air Show - I will never know, but I wrote a thank you note to them in case and said that they had made a lot of recycled teenagers very happy - one in particular.
Just after midday all that was left was a huge expanse of grass - who would have thought that 35 Benimars plus a few add on 'vans were lined up in (near) straight rows, all with easy access - we did it! It was a very satisfying and enjoyable experience. Why not give it a go yourselves? No need for extras; as I said pegging and greeting are all that is essential. It is a shame that Ron has to keep writing "Volunteers Required" against so many rallies with the number of members we have.
Mary Pennington 

CHAIRMAN'S CHAT 

Volunteers Required

As a follow on from Mary's article on the previous pages, if you look at the Dates for Your Diary page you will see that we have 5 Show Rallies in the list but all of them require marshals
If we don't get any volunteers they will have to be cancelled. It is up to you do you want to meet fellow members there or not?

News from RDH

Service Van
It is hoped that the service van will be in operation again for Peterborough next year. The old van was getting old and when Steve Irvine left it was got rid of, but they are buying a new replacement.

Staff Changes
Richard (Rick) Black left the company in August, his replacement is not yet decided.

Van Bitz

Van Bitz are no longer part of the Benimar dealership network. They decided to concentrate on their security alarms and satellite navigation and tracking systems.

Twin Axle Benimar/ Alko

The twin axle extra long Top on an Alko chassis that Benimar were looking at, will not now go into production - unless there is a great demand for it. So if you fancy one, or even a normal length Top on an Alko chassis (with double floor and all the services in between floors) let RDH know. I fancy one but they won't make one just for me.

Oops

Steve Reynolds changed his (or is it Sue's) Mercedes just before the York Show. He changed from a petrol to a diesel - and you can guess the rest. That is why they were late arriving on the Friday.

Open Day
RDH will be holding another Open Day next year, just for one day, the Saturday after the Lincoln Show. I will try and organise a rally at Park Farm to coincide as we did this year.

Members changing 'Vans

Colin & Francis Varley changed over at the York Show to a Lunar Roadstar.
Richard Hall & Christine Anderson arrived in a 2 day old Compass Castaway with a fixed bed that goes up and down automatically (at least that was what Richard said).
I also hear that Mary and George Pennington, Chris and Graham Baines, Ian and Ann Robb are all changing but staying faithful Benimar. 

Driving in France

If you are going over to France soon then you are advised to drive on dipped headlights during the day outside built-up areas. It is not a law, just an experiment, but if successful will result in it becoming law.

Croatia

I have just read in this months Motor Caravanner Magazine an article on a group visit to Croatia and notice that one of the 'vans was a Benimar. Was it a Club Member I wonder? If it was, who are you and why didn't you tell us about it? 

Water Filling Aid

You may remember a letter from Brian and Mavis Baldwin that mentioned a 90 degrees elbow waste pipe fitting obtainable in France that just fits in the fresh water inlet on the Benimar. It is 80mm diameter and obtainable from French DIY and Plumbers outlets.
Below is a picture of one, taken at the York Show Rally. It was supplied by Mel xxxxxxxx and modelled by Ian Tilley.

P&O Ferries

Just as I go to press I hear that P&O are to close the Portsmouth to Cherbourg, Le Havre and Caen services in the new year - our favourite crossings - typical.

Press Release :-

OWN A MOTORHOME? - PUT IT TO WORK

Cambridgeshire based hire operator MotorHolme.com have come up with an innovative way to meet the annual running costs of a motorhome.
MotorHolme.com are offering a Self Hire Scheme which works in a similar way to a holiday cottage booking agent, providing a potentially substantial extra income for a motorhome van owner.
MotorHolme.com have developed a new idea called "Self Hire" to meet the growing demand of hiring a motorhome during the peak season.
Usually motorhomes are used for just a few weeks and sit on the owners' driveway for the rest of the year. MotorHolme reckon they can achieve a minimum of 12 weeks hire during the year, with an average income of £300 per week. "We take care of everything - marketing, booking, administration and most importantly our fully comprehensive insurance scheme with Norwich Union enables us to hire out owners' motorhomes." said Andrew Hughes, Managing Director of MotorHolme.com.
"At this time of year, we have many more enquiries than we can ever hope to fulfill with our own fleet of vehicles. This is a win-win situation for everyone concerned. Owners can easily recover annual running costs within a few weeks, by joining our Self Hire Scheme" added Mr Hughes.
Established over 3 years ago, MotorHolme.com aim to have around 60 MotorHolme Self Hire Agents across the UK in place for the 2005 peak season.
If this years Glastonbury wash out is anything to go by, this idea is set to be a winner. For more information and an appraisal of the likely income your motorhome could earn visit www. motorholme.com or cal 01954 718750. 

ROY'S RAMBLINGS 

HINTS TO FOREIGNERS ON PRONUNCIATION

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble , but not you
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through?
Well done! And now you wish perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead; its said like bed, not bead
For goodness sake don't call it 'deed'!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

A moth is not a moth in mother
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose
Just look them up, and goose and choose

And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go and thwart and cart -
Come, come, I've hardly made a start
A dreadful language? Man alive,
I'd mastered it when I was five.

THE GOLDEN YEARS

The Golden years 
Have come at last
I cannot see,
I cannot pee,
I cannot chew,
I cannot screw.
My memory shrinks,
My hearing stinks.

No sense of smell.
I look like hell.
My body's drooping
Got trouble pooping

The Golden Years
Have come at last.
The Golden Years
Can kick my ass!

The above was a tribute by 90 year old Shakespearian actor Mervyn Blake, to his thespian friend Tony van Bridge on his 80th birthday.

Thanks to Roy Gill for the above 2 items..

PS Roy is now a Town Councillor for Ulverston Looks like he spends all his time swapping funny stories and anecdotes, I wonder if the rate payers know? 
I can't wait to see him in his mayoral robes and chain of office soon. Perhaps we will all be invited to the mayor-making - Ed.

March Rally in Bath

The site is Newton Mill just past Bath city centre.
Cost is £8 per night + £2 for electric if required. Possibility to stay on after Sunday if desired - ask on arrival.
Quiz on Friday night in restaurant/bar and Sat night "oldies" disco. (Disco financed by 50p per pitch and a raffle.)
Let Colin or Frances know if you wish to book (first come first served).